total slacker .com

After years of research, a team of Georgetown University scientists have discovered what many believed did not exist - the five dollar pitcher. Their findings were announced yesterday at Shooter McGee’s Tavern outside of Washington, D.C.

A lot of eye-opening news in the financial markets have transpired over the last six months. The public learned that contrary to popular belief, wall street executives aren't very smart or responsible and are great liars. These traits span the gamit of companies from AIG to the Madoff's ponzie scheme. Just look at Madoff. He built an entire multi-billion dollar company on pure BS. There was absolutely nothing behind the company. Everyone that was employed at the company could have literally disappeared behind it's doors and played video games, text-messaged and watched TV all day long.

Slackers nationwide are very encouraged on the prospects of landing a job at AIG, the world's largest insurance company. One slacker, John Adelbaum stated today, "imagine making a bonus in excess of a few million dollars for doing nothing except running a company to the ground. It's a slackers wet dream." Another slacker, Jim Flint noted, "hey, if the government eventually breaks the company apart and we loose our jobs, we can collect unemployment. It's a win-win"