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Most people enjoy the benefits of a well-balanced diet. For years, we have been taught that a diet consisting of meats, dairy, fruits, vegetables, and grain leads to a healthy lifestyle. One man, however, is defying all odds by living strictly on chicken fingers. These “fingers”, made up of deep-fried breaded chicken, have managed to sustain Jerry Fieldsend, 32, for more than a decade.

“The first time I had chicken fingers was in a Denny’s in St. Louis,” Fieldsend said when asked of his love for the fried appetizer. “After that, what can I say? I’ve been eating them morning, noon and night since 1991.” Over the years Fieldsend has eaten thousands of chicken finger meals from different fast food outlets, but he does have his favorites.

“The [chicken] fingers at Bennigans are the sweet,” says Fieldsend, “The honey mustard is friggin’ mindblowing.” According to inside sources, the right honey mustard can make or break an order chicken fingers, especially when it’s the only thing you eat.

Experts still warn against a diet which relies too heavily on fried foods. “It’s amazing that Mr. Fieldsend is still alive,” said nutritionist Dr. Charles Winslow. “With all of the chicken fingers he’s eaten over the years, he should have had at least three heart attacks
by now.”

Despite the criticism from the medical community, Fieldsend plans to continue his eating habits. Tabloids such as the Globe and the Weekly World News have offered millions to discover the secrets of his “Chicken Finger Miracle Diet”, but Fieldsend’s not talking. “I don’t think the world is ready for my genius,” he said between bites of a Popeye’s chicken meal.