Slacker Creed
commence to play when the boss is away
continually seek new technologies to reduce your workloads
expend most of your energy and thought evading work and covering your ass
become as unnoticed as possible - develop total anonymity and invisibility - they can't fire a specter
put off today what you can surreptitiously unload on another
develop an appreciation for delegation
master the fine art of dawdling
make yourself permanantly unavailable - let them find some uninformed sucker to crap on
no favors under any circumstances
learn to look busy when slacking off - stealth slacking
tis better to have never attempted then to have wasted thy resources and time, only to faileth
condition your employer to expect less, keep them hungry for more and slowly let them starve
learn to gracefully dodge responsibility and blame whilst anonymously pinning it on your undesirable co-workers
develop a repertoire of afflictions and conditions - that when used strategically will preempt you from laborious tasks at work, and may in-turn serve as a sympathy ploy
invest in one or more external joint/appendage stabilizing devices - eg. neck-brace, knee-brace, wearing one to the job when a heavy workload or rigid deadline is anticipated. You'll likely receive sympathy, and a reduced work-load plus your employer will note how much of a trooper you are for showing up in such poor physical condition