Slackers Not Worried About Economy
Submitted by admin on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 13:42
With recent corporate scandals involving Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, and Totalslacker.com, as well as unemployment predicted to reach all-time highs, many Americans are apprehensive about the economy. Thousands are being laid off, and many more simply cannot find work because of the economic climate. There is one group of citizens, however, who are not concerned at all.
Slackers, the lazy, beer-guzzling men and women who make up a growning
segment of America’s population, are doing just fine. According to a survey done by the American Slacking Instutute 30% of slackers say the current state of the economy is “Fine by me”, 48% say “What the hell is an economy?”, and 22% suggested ordering a pizza. These statistics show that the majority of the slacker population is perfectly comfortable sitting on their couches and waiting out the economic slump.
Local slacker George Mendelson, 33, claims that he is actually benefiting
from the poor economy. “I live in my mother’s basement, and every day she bitches at me to go out and get a job,” said Mendelson during a recent interview. “Now all I have to say is, ‘Nobody’s hiring, ma! It’s the economy! Watch the news, for chrissakes!’ and that usually shuts her up good.”
Most slackers believe that since they don’t have jobs, and have no intentions of looking for one, they’ll be fine while others struggle. “I don’t know what I’m
going to do. I just got laid off from my job at MCI, and I’ve got a wife and kids at home,” said former phone company employee Jack McGarnukle. “Sometimes I wish I just lived in my parents’ basement, watching TV and eating Cheese Doodles all day. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about this crap.”